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21 Types of Writers I Encountered While Writing Web Fictions


Today's blog is a little more meme-like. I'll be writing about the kinds of writers I encountered over the course of writing for web-fiction platforms in the last 3-4 years. Not all of them are great but it's something that every e-fiction writer will encounter if they stick to it long enough.


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#1: The Godly Typist

If you think you're doing good at 20wpm, this godly typist will be your most formidable rival in any writing sprints. They surpass the speed of 60wpm without difficulty and it sometimes makes you wonder if they're secretly a printer.

Unless there is evidence of their typing speed, always assume that the godly typist is a printer. Honestly, I don't know how anyone can reach speeds of over 100wpm.


#2: Grammar Nazi

Remember the English teacher back in Grade 2 that nobody liked because she would always correct you for using the improper subject-verb agreement in speech? Yes, the Grammar Nazi writer is the kind of person who would correct your chat messages on discord even if nobody cares.


#3: The Baby

Most of these 'writers' have only written compositions or essays for their school homework. Plot? Pacing? Foreshadowing? They've probably never heard of it. In fact, they were only a writer since yesterday!


#4: Toxic Trash

Sometimes, you'll meet these people who could only talk bad about everyone else because that's what makes them the happiest. Nobody else is deserving of success because they suck and it's their fault they were born ugly. Oh yeah, the part about you receiving an unfair and brainless hate comment? It's probably because you deserved it too for being such an underdeveloped feutus.

In short, they're the kind of people society would do better without.


#5: Businessman / Businesswoman

Not to judge them but these writers are here for one and only one purpose - to make money. It doesn't matter what they write, if someone will pay for it then it becomes their mission to write it. Oh, did I mention that if they couldn't write it, they would hire someone else to write it?


#6: Dreamer

"Did you know, I had a dream last night about a fantastic galactic war incorporating fruit-human hybrids! I think it would be such a best-seller!"

*Inserts eye roll here because you know they won't ever be writing it*

Yeah, I think we know where this is going. Dreamer writers often dream up fantastic ideas that never ever get turned into inked words. They're often so busy dreaming up new books that they don't have enough time to write them.


#7: Procrastinator

"What time is it? Two hours before midnight? Oh well, I guess that's an hour more to play Minecraft before I need to write my chapter."

It sometimes surprises me that people could 'wait' to write a chapter and won't do it until they absolutely must but these writers are often dubbed the Procrastinator. Much like how students view homework as a chore, these writers don't find passion in their work until retribution finds them first.


#8: The Dropper

"Hey! I've just got this really awesome idea that I started. Want to read my first chapter?"

"Uh... sure? How about the last book that you started? Have you finished it?"

"Oh, that? Ha! That was two weeks ago. I've already moved on from it. It wasn't good and I ran out of ideas to continue it so I"m dropping it. It's marked hiatus for now. Maybe I'll come back to it in 7 years if I remember. So what do you think of this new story?"


The Dropper is a writer with commitment issues more often than not. They love starting stories but have never gotten to the end o any stories they started. Better stick to writing short stories or one-shots then!


#9: Needs-a-Doctor

Sometimes you follow your favourite authors on Instagram but 9/10 times, you see that instead of a full page of words, they are uploading pictures of paper cuts, bruises and bandages on their stories.

Can you relate? I'm actually not very surprised for someone guilty of that. I've never succeeded in my 7-day Injury-free Challenge and I doubt I ever will. Just call the ambulance, will you? This writer is fragile.


#10: English Is Not My First Language

When writing on such a global platform, it's not surprising to meet people from different countries. English is not their first language and sometimes not even their second. I'm just so amazed by these people but it's heart-warming to think that they would struggle so hard to be better at the language.


#11: Sprint Farmer

This is one of my favourite writers because I like the idea of working or writing alongside someone else in sprints. Even if all they do is join with edits for the XP boost, it makes me feel more productive knowing that I gained some virtual XP while watching anime instead of writing for the last 20 minutes. Oops?


#12: Misunderstood One

"No, you don't understand..." is the Misunderstood One's favourite line as they try to clarify exactly what they meant. Yes, the misunderstood one is special. They are usually so special that eventually, nobody talks to them and they're left wondering why all their friends disappear.


#13: Lurker

It's usually easy to forget their names because they rarely show up! When they do, you're better off not expecting a reply because they'll simply go to hiding back again. Lurker writers prefer to read and judge silently in your server because they're too shy to exist. They hardly respond to pings but if you slide into their DMs, they might just talk.


#14: Chats More Than Writes

Sometimes, it's very difficult to picture these writers writing. They type more than five thousand words a day but their page remains blank most of the time. It's also very difficult to imagine them as an introvert from the sheer speed of how their messages flash across the screen. Each time you take a break from sprints, they would have written five hundred words and 1,678 messages unread in the discord channel. The Chat More Than Writes Writer is the kind of writer who invested more skill points in communication than productivity. A fun pal to party around but remember to mute them during sprints.


#15: More Blocks Than Words Writer

Ah, the discord status is back to some emo quotes? Let's check on them... or not!