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How To Write A Review That Will Make The Author Fall In Love With You

Have you ever wanted author senpai's attention but your voice was always drowned out by the flood of other passionate commenters? Or maybe you just wanted to let the author know how much you love their word but just can't find the words?

Fret not! Destiny Aitsuji is here to offer you some tips about writing a review/comment that will make your author senpai fall for you so hard that you'd probably die from nosebleeds.

If you're ready to know the secrets of how to seduce your author senpai by writing a good review/comment, grab some popcorn and hold on to your wigs!

Secret #1: We love it when you praise our writing skills even if it doesn't pay our bills.

It's no secret that everybody likes praises. However, it's one thing to tell a person "Good job!" and another to say "Omg! You made me cry so hard when you described how they broke up! I can't believe a single person like me is saying this but... I want to also find a girlfriend like that!"

See the difference there? Writers are creatures that thrive on an endless supply of coffee and drama. The more exaggerated your praise is, the higher we fly. However, note that we can tell apart the truth from the lies. Your praise has to mean it for us to like you!

Secret #2: We like money. It's not bribery if your review and comment come with a gift to our Patreon.

I'm not joking. Unless they are filthy rich like J.K. Rowling, I think every struggling author appreciates some additional bucks that will be spent on coffee.

This blog post is generously sponsored by the following Patreons: *This could be your name*.

But no, seriously. We love you more if you serenade us with gifts. It makes us feel appreciated to know you support our efforts financially and not hop onto a pirate site that rips it and make it free for people who will only criticise us. It means a lot to us even if we can only afford one coffee bean instead of an entire cup of coffee from your contributions.

Secret #3: Address us by our name.

I don't know why many people refer to us as author-sama or author-san. We have a name and it makes us feel generalised when we don't get called by our alias. Every pen name has a special reason behind it and if you, the reader, don't use it, then when are we ever going to use it?

Secret #4: Include cute gifs and emoji if you can.

While we love words, sometimes all it takes to make our day is just one very cute gif. Better still, send us your fan art! We're also visual creatures and can take the time to appreciate the lack of word spam in one meaningful image like this cat!

Secret #5: Cheer us on and let us know that we're not alone on our journey.

Anything as simple as "I look forward to the next chapter!" or "Thank you for writing, I had a long day and needed this cute scene..." will touch our hearts.

We appreciate it when readers let us know how much what we do mean to them and trust me when I say that a writer who is in love with their readers will do anything for them. It doesn't matter if we have smallpox, we will get that mass release we promised ready in twenty-four hours!

If you've read and done all the five things I revealed to you, your desired author-senpai will be sure to notice you and even respond to you! If the first time doesn't succeed, don't be discouraged. Authors are shy creatures who need a lot of time, patience and persistence to respond to. As long as you continue supporting author senpai, they will eventually gift you with something more precious than words one day.

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