With over 600 chapters, Ball of Nothing has become the longest serial work in my writing career that I never thought would be possible.
Over 1 million words, hundreds of hours, 4 seasons, 2 anniversaries and a fan cult later, the series is finally coming to an end.
This blog post is generously sponsored by the following Patreons: *This could be your name*.
Am I sad? Not really. If anything, these two years taught me a lot. I had more to gain than lose despite the toxic drama that some of you know about. Writing with Webnovel has changed my life and perspective of how a writing career could look like. I would like to take this cancer to thank my readers who stuck all the way till the end and also my editors who encouraged me when I was devastated by the unfair results of my talent to the appreciation I received.
When I first started writing Webnovel, I was just getting over my suicidal stage of depression and trying to move on from my parents' divorce. I was also coming to terms that I was indeed a victim of sexual abuse with severe PTSD and several other diagnosed/undiagnosed mental disorders. It was a period of self-actualisation and knowing who I was all over again.
Ball of Nothing was a pet project. For once, I let go of my perfectionism and simply gave zero fucks to what people thought. It was a writing prompt space for creativity so that I could find the courage to pick up the pen and communicate with the world that hurt me so badly. I still have emotional scars from what happened to this day but there are more happy days than sad days now that I look back on the past two years I spent working on Ball of Nothing.
The journey was amazing in many ways.
Firstly, I was able to gather like-minded individuals who voluntarily created a cult in Zero-chan's name. Secondly, I was never judged for my craziness and unique opinions. Nobody criticised what I wanted to write even if it didn't make sense. They simply accepted it and enjoyed it for everything that it was, including its imperfection.
Secondly, I was able to work with many amazing people. My proofreader Ashmrth has been with me for well over two seasons. That's a few hundred chapters of dedication and he doesn't ask for a single cent doing it. His dedication to it all the way till the end moved me. It made me believe that good people still exist and unconditional love wasn't a myth.
Thirdly, I understood the true toxic nature and dark side of the writing world. Nobody was your friend. It didn't matter what they did or said, they are filled with ugly jealousy. However, in this ugliness, some would admit it outrightly, making me think that it isn't all that terrible. Sure, we don't sabotage each other and even famous people can be jealous of talented people. It made me feel slightly better about my lack of success although it doesn't stop me from wanting to covet their position. I understood how ugly I truly was as well. For that, I am thankful.
Next, I learned more about myself than anyone else writing this story about karma and a never-ending cycle of life and death. I started seeing many patterns in my life reflecting at my weakness. It made me sour so I decided to leave my shitty finance job and get serious working for what I believed in life. I didn't want to live a life written out by someone else. Even my book's character wanted to live a life he wanted to live, undecided by the readers or author. It was highly inappropriate to be a bad role model for my characters.
Last but not least, I learned that it was more effective to be a horrible person than a good person because society doesn't reward people equally. Being greedy is a good thing. Wanting to manipulate your reader's feelings is a skill. Creating works that buy a person's heart to make them part with their wallet is a talent. It sounds twisted but it is true. I've been told that I should 'get a real job' and 'stop being a beggar' and that really woke me up. I told myself I was going to squeeze every single asshole reader's wallet dry and I won't even thank them for their support. Don't think badly of me, it's just so that I can put your money to better use. Call it creator funds but we need our quality coffee and that shit is expensive.
All in all, I'm glad it is finally over. I don't have regrets about not getting to the multiverse adventure portion that I planned to write for the series. Ending it prematurely was a tough but necessary decision. Instead, I decided to use what I learned in the last two years to create a better story.
For those of you living under rocks, my new work is called Godfather World. You can read the preview on Tapas or volunteer yourself as a beta reader by joining my discord. Advanced chapters will soon be available on Patreon so don't forget to pledge early.
Side note: I now have a Tiktok account so go stalk me!
