Patreons to credit: -This could be you. Join now.-
Finally! A potion that allows tree lovers to talk to their spouses. I must be the greatest magician alive!
Or so I thought.
It wasn't difficult to find the closest tree to test the new potion's effect on. In fact, living in the woods made this part of the research simple. I down the pink potion in one gulp and waited. For the man about to hear the first words of trees, I was excited.
The potion worked and finally, I could hear more than just the gentle rustling of leaves in the forest. The first voice that entered my head belonged to a rather young a wispy lady tree.
"Oh, how dreadful! Can't these ducks reach any further? My tresses are dripping in the water but the top is still tangled from the breeze!" the willow lady complained.
Further back, I could hear a boisterous fir tree laughing at her. "You don't look any different to me. Even if the sparrows fixed your leaves, they're still going to go all over the place when the next gust picks up. Why do you care? It's not like anyone is interested in your flowers."
Offended, the wispy willow lady screamed vulgarities as the tall fir chuckled, his leaves dropping as he did so. Some squirrel climbing the fir had second thoughts and scampered down to take refuge in a different tree.
As I walked deeper into the forest, the conversation between trees ranged from mundane to ridiculous. Who knew that trees would flirt by touching roots? It was like watching a terrible drama between an old married couple and a young mistress arguing about how many roots could be touched before it was considered cheating.
As the effects of the potion wore out, I had to contemplate if I should still sell it to tree lovers. Maybe the bored housewives would appreciate this more.